my smartphone is stupid

My Sidekick 3 is dumb for the following reasons:

1) Can't sync to my Mac
2) I can only email not text pictures
3) It thinks I'm going to be happy with the 'multicultural' phone app people on my screen for eternity...Well guess what? I altered that ish and am in the process of designing my own
4) I can't use my MP3's as ringtones- I still have to pay almost $3 for a new ringtone.

In short dear reader, my phone is no smarter than the guy on the short bus picking his nose and saving it in his booger collection under his seat.